Attitudes and Humor

Humor Research
Fall 2009

Please listen to the directions given to you by the researcher. In a few minutes, the study will begin. It should take no longer than about 25 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On this web page, you will see a group of jokes that we would like you to rate. After that, there is a brief inventory relating to relationships in contemporary society. You should indicate the degree to which you agree or disagree with each of those statements. So that you can describe yourself in an honest manner, your responses will be kept in absolute confidence. Please read each statement carefully, and then select the value that corresponds to the number on the scale.


Please Rate the Following Jokes Using the Following Scale

How funny is the joke on a scale of 1 to 7? (1 = Not funny; 7 = Very funny)
How offensive is the joke to you on a scale of 1 to 7? (1 = Not offensive; 7 = Very offensive)

Indicate your rating in the box next to each question.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent?
Wedding cake.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get the remote.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What do a beer bottle and a guy have in common?
They’re both empty from the neck up.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?


Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?!" A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this."

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Women are like country western songs.
They’re annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you’ll get depressed and drink a lot.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why are dogs better than men?
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

You have just rated the first ten jokes.

What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What if God's a woman?
Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why.
How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

A woman is in a terrible accident and she needs to receive a brain transplant. The doctor tells her, "Well, a man's brain costs $900,000 and a woman's costs $100,000. She is extremely offended and asks why. The doctor smiles and says, "That's not sexism, it's standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the women's brains down because they have been used."

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run, or don’t fit right in the crotch!

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

You have rated 20 jokes.

How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What can a woman put behind her ears to make herself more beautiful?
Her ankles.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

When men say "I'm going fishing", it really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why do women like intelligent men?
Opposites attract.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it to you?

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why are there only snowmen and no snowomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow all winter.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why are men like mascara?
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

You are almost done now!

A man and woman were having sex when he said, “Did I hurt you?” The woman responded, “No, why did you think so?” He then said, “I thought you moved."

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

A man gets a sex change and became a woman. His friend comes to the hospital to visit and asks, “What hurt the most? When you had your breasts sewn on?” He replied, “No, that wasn’t it”.
So his friend asked, “Was it when you had your penis cut off?” and he replied, “No, that wasn’t it.
So his friend asked “Well, what did hurt the most then?”
And he replied, “When they removed half of my brain.”

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What have you done wrong when your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you?
You made the chain too long.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why did the man cross the road?
Because he heard the chicken was a slut.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What do women and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow a lot of seamen.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why are men are like Ziploc bags?
Because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

What do a toilet, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Why do they call it PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken.

How funny is the joke? How offensive is it?

Did you hear about the baby born with characteristics of both sexes?
It had a penis AND a brain!

How funny is the joke? How offensive is i?

Attitude Survey

Please indicate how closely the following statements describe you on a scale of 1 to 5.

1: Strongly Disagree
2: Disagree
3: Neutral
4: Agree
5: Strongly Agree
 

1
2
3
4
5
No matter how accomplished he is, a man is not truly complete as a person unless he has the love of a woman.
Many women are actually seeking special favors, such as hiring policies that favor them over men, under the guise of asking for "equality."
In a disaster, women ought not necessarily be rescued before men.
Most women interpret innocent remarks or acts as being sexist.
Women are too easily offended.
People are often truly happy in life without being romantically involved with a member of the other sex.
Feminists are not seeking for women to have more power than men.
Many women have a quality of purity that few men possess.
Women should be cherished and protected by men.
Most women fail to appreciate fully all that men do for them.
Women seek to gain power by getting control over men.

 

1
2
3
4
5
Every man ought to have a woman whom he adores.
Men are complete without women.
Women exaggerate problems they have at work.
Once a woman gets a man to commit to her, she usually tries to put him on a tight leash.
When women lose to men in a fair competition, they typically complain about being discriminated against.
A good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man.
There are actually very few women who get a kick out of teasing men by seeming sexually available and then refusing male advances.
Women, compared to men, tend to have a superior moral sensibility.
Men should be willing to sacrifice their own well being in order to provide financially for the women in their lives.
Feminists are making entirely reasonable demands of men.
Women, as compared to men, tend to have a more refined sense of culture and good taste.

 

Sex Female Male
Race/Ethnicity: African American American Indian Asian White Other

Age:


When you have responded to the questions, please submit your responses.