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20 Questions for George Lucas by Thom Denick 1. WHY IS CHEWBACCA THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T GET A MEDAL AT THE END OF STAR WARS? 2. WHY DOES THE REBELLION FORCES ONLY CONSIST OF WHITE MALES, NO ALIENS, NO BLACKS, OR ANY OTHER RACE(UNTIL JEDI)? 3. IS C3-PO A DEVICE FOR GAY BASHING? DOES HE HAVE A CRUSH ON HAN OR LUKE? 4. DO YOU HAVE TO BE WHITE TO BE A JEDI? 5. DID YOU REALIZE WHAT A HUGE MYSOGINISTIC SEXUAL METAPHOR THE DEATH STAR TRENCH SEQUENCE WAS WHILE YOU WERE CREATING IT? 6. WHY IS PRINCESS LEIA THE ONLY CHARACTER AT ANY POINT TO BE CAPTURED AND HELD HOSTAGE BY ANY BAD GUYS? 7. WHY IS SHE THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO WEAR A SEXY "JABBA" BATHING SUIT? 8. CAN WOMAN BE JEDIS? 9. IS THE AFROCENTRIC THEORY THAT DARTH VADER IS A METAPHOR FOR A POWERFUL BLACK MAN WITH A WEAKENED WHITE MAN HIDING INSIDE TRUE? 10. IS IT TRUE LENI RIEFENENSTAL'S (NAZI FILMMAKER) WORK WAS A MAJOR INFLUENCE ON STAR WARS CINEMATOGRAPHY? 11. IF SHE EVER GET'S A "LIFE-TIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD" FROM THE ACADEMY, WILL YOU STAND AND APPLAUD HER? 12. WILL THIS RESULT IN A FIST FIGHT WITH YOUR BUD SPEILBURG? 13. IS CHEWBACCA HAN SOLO'S BITCH? 14. WHY IS CHEWBACCA THE ONLY ALIEN TO NEVER GET SUBTITLES IN THE FILM? 15. IS IT BECAUSE WHAT HE IS SAYING NEEDS TO BE FILTERED THROUGH A WHITE MALE (HAN) TO BE "INTELLIGIBLE"? 16. DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE ALIVE IN THE U.S. WHO HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THE STAR WARS FILMS?! 17. IS THIS WHY YOU DID THE PREQUELS AND RE-RELEASES? 18. TO USE THE EVER MORE POWERFUL MAINSTREAM MEDIA TO JAM STAR WARS EVEN DEEPER INTO MY GENERATION'S SUBCONCIOUS? 19. ARE YOU HUMAN OR AN ALIEN? 20. DO YOU SEE LUCAS FILM HAVING IT'S OWN SECTION OF THE AMERICAN FLAG IN THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE? Thom Denick is clearly a dangerous radical. Why can't he just unconditionally love Star Wars like the rest of us? Whay does he have to question everything? That just ruins it. I mean, George loves us unconditionally, that's why he's puting out the new trilogy, of course, and the least we can do is return the favor. So, if you see Denick on the street beat the hell out of him for us, huh? Tell him LucasFilm sent you. |
