I'm a little confused about this class.  Expected it to be hit with numbers, numbers, numbers...

The last eight days of class ahve begun to give me the confidence that I can complete any task I am given.  Whether I learn it quickly or take the long way around first, I am learning it and will master it.

...The best part of my experience, however, wasn't the amount of joy that we were spreading around ithaca, but the lessons I learned about life from the hearts of children....Before that I became so focused on getting good grades and being a good student...I forgot how to let go and have fun.  Work became a chore.  My life evolved into an empty pit that was thirsty for happiness.  My confidence hit an all time low.  I felt I was worthless.  Then, when the summer came, I was able to step out of the microcosm that I created for myself and see the world for what its splendor and glory. I was able to smell beautiful flowers and enjoy their fragnance. I pet cat and dogs.  They brought genuine smiles to my face.  I found the courage to work on some areas of math that I was scared to address.  I was so used to telling myself that I was "stupid" that I did not give myself the chance to learn.  I embraced my inner child and fed it with kind, loving nurturing informartion.  I swam in the falls....

...I am constantly finding myself drifting offf and thinking about my grandpa.  He is very sick with Cancer and isn't expected to live much longer....When I start thinking about this, I tell myself that my grandpa was lucky to live as long as he has, and see his grandchildren.....

...Last week I went cliff jumping for the first time and it was incredible...

...Today is the first day we used the calculator and I felt lost...I had to ask for extra help and that is hard on my pride....Took the first calculator quiz.  I was amazed at how well I did...

...My senior year in High School I organized and planned and created an overnight camp with 20 special need students.  Now it became an annual event at my home town...I would visit my grandma weekly and it would always put a smile on my face...

...I am running cross country for College.  I love it and it helps me manage my time...

Once upon a time... there lived a little girl named Ashley.  She had very straight brown hair and very long fingers.  She had big hazel eyes that looked small only because they were very close together.   She used her straight hair as a distraction - she twirled it with her long fingers into little brown knots and let her eyelashes cover her hazel eyes while she dreamed about songs and castles and kisses.... tried to pretend that she was not in Algebra class.

I have a math phobia - I really do.  When I was in 2nd grade I realized that math was simply not my favorite activity. I would rather sing or write or ride a bike or blow bubbles or study the intricacies of the lines on a blank piece of note book than ever attempting a single word problem. HOWEVER - I am slowly overcoming this fear.....

"Emptiness"  (A poem)

The emptiness inside me
can be filled by the place
which is whole and living
outside me.

The lights, the music, the joy
of being complete.
I wish to be there where my
heart is smiling
and my tears are saltless.
My laughter is real and
I long not to be held but
to run and embrace.
I yearn to be at the place
where my eyes are closed yet
I see everything in explicit
detail.
I taste the air with my
mouth shut.  I feel it with
my fist clenched tightly.  I
am home - Familiarity surrounds
me and I love it - I want
more
Hollowness is what has
settled upon my shoulders now.
Searching, I wonder aimlessly
to fill my gap.
I realize it will not happen
here, but I must go back to
where my heart says "we're finally
here."

Response:  i have a silky type nightgown that was my mothers that i felt when i was
a child.  i still use it to this day, and i brought it to college with me.

Response:  Back at home I used to lock myself up in my room with my dog
and hug her while I cried, accepting the pain as a fact of
life and then trying to find a reason why this experience was
positive for me. The one positive reason I usually found was
"this is building my character". And in fact I would say that
the situations that have most significantly shaped my
character have been the most painful (my parent's divorce...)
All I can say is take life as a challenge, because it is.
Experience as much as you can of it. Be thankful for all
experiences no matter how painful. And try to live, love
and be without fear because..."...if in your fear you seek
only love's beauty and love's pleasures, you will fall into a
world where you will laugh, but not all your laughter, and
you will cry, but not all your tears.-Kahil Gibran-
Your's truly,
Maria del Mar

--Dani
 

                     We often learn the most from our children....

           The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his
           3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping
           paper.  Money was tight and he became infuriated when the
           child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas
           tree.

           Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father
           the next morning and said, This is for you, Daddy.  He was
           embarrassed
           by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when
           he found the box was empty.  He yelled at her, Don't you know
           that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be
           something inside it?  The little girl looked up at him with
           tears in her eyes and said, Oh, Daddy it's not empty.  I blew
           kisses into the box.  All for you, Daddy.

           The father was crushed.  He put his arms around his little
           girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. It is told that the
           man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he
           was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and
           remember the love of the child who had put it  there.
           In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a
           gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from
           our children, friends, family, or God.  There is no more
           precious possessions anyone can hold.

I found these problems very rewarding in that I saw how everything came together.  I was a bit confused at first, but I feel that I have a better grasp on it now.  This was also significant in a day that was filled with confusion.  I had a million things on my mind today and after these two problems it helped me redirect my focus in a positive way.   God Bless,

What I remember about Math came from my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Carlisle.  We were learning how to multiply single numbers and the number 9 was giving me difficulty.  One day during recess I was tending in line to play kickball when Mrs. Carlisle told me she thought she might have a concept to help me learn how to multiply by 9.  This is how it went:

9 X 7 = ?
    - 1=
       6 + 3 = 9   Answer: 63

My elemetary school has long since closed but I still rememebr this cool concept from a teacher who wanted me to learn how to multiply single digits by 9.

I thought you may enjoy this thought that came to me this morning when I was rinsing sprouts.

A few weeks ago I bought a kit to make sprouts that will help keep our family healthy in the cold winter months when fresh veggies are not available.  Twice a day, for 30 seconds I am rinsing the sprouts and though this process am connecting with them and feeling their beingness.  The sprouts are alive and even though they cannot speak in a human language, we feel connected.  After about seven days we eat the sprouts.  What I noticed that the most enjoyable part of the process is not eating the sprouts but caring for them.  The same I think could be true about math.  Yes, we all want to get a good grade and when we get it, it makes us momentary happy.  But the real joy lies in doing the problems patiently and with love.  Caring for the problems and learning.

Happiness is the absence of worry
it is the morning sunlight on the earth
it is the shining star in night time sky
it is a rainbow on a rainy day
it is a feeling that you are proud of who you are
it is the twinkle in a person's eye
it is the best feeling in the world
it is understanding what you know
it is feeling whole spiritually and mentally
it is taking on an optimists view on life
Happiness is the best feeling in the world

                                                    Angela

Because of past experiences with math, more worse than good, I have become a person with no motivation to conquer math.
I have been blessed with good teachers since then, but earlier experiences have kept me from accomplishing
that goal of totally understanding math. What I need from this class is a better understanding of the math concept and the motivation to to just that. I know that I am able to succeed if I want to and I sure do want to, but because of my past, it i s abit hard for me to get to that point. I need from you, the teacher, and the rest of the class to motivate me.  Get me to see math in a new light. Let me be able to see that this will help me in the long run. I need help understanding that it is my thoughts about math  that are making me hate it, not my abilities...
I have to learn math in the best way and i think that it is in your class. I want help in this class, and I know that I can do that with everyones help.  Maybe I'll start learning tomorrow...maybe I'll catch on quicker...
Maybe I will learn to like math tomorrow, maybe not, but at least I will have the support of my teacher and friends.

If i could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
on the days your feeling blue
if i could build a mountain
you call your very own
a place to find serenity
a place to be alone
if i could take your troubles
i would toss them into the sea
but all these things im finding
are impossible for me
i cannot build a mountain
or catch a rainbow fair
but let me be what i know best
a friend thats always there

I love this poem...i think it is very inspirational..and
i hope you enjoy it as well...thanks angela

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as
soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and
with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its
hopes and  invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882
American Poet and Essayist

The following story is very sad.  I think I start undersdtanding why people do this.  I think it is because they are sick.  Very sick.  They need help and not hate.  How can we help them?  By trying to be as kind and loving as we can.

Let us vote for love today.  Let this story not discourage us but encourage us.

This past weekend I heard a story about two men that live not far from my house that makes me sick.

The story was that the SPCA had gone to their house and took seven of the approximate twenty-one dogs living there away to the pound. What is so sad to me is that one dog had to have it's leg amputated because one of the men thought it needed to be disciplined with a baseball bat. My question is why take only seven dogs away - why not all of them? I am a true lover of all animals and the thought of this poor dog suffering with a broken leg for who knows how long just makes my heart ache. Pets (in particular cats and dogs) have the ability to give unconditional love. They do not have mood swings like people do. My dog and cat are always glad to see me come home and ask for so little from me in return. Food, shelter, love, and protection in return for barking, howling, tail wagging, meowing, purring, and rubbing around my legs is wonderful payment for me! Animals cannot speak when they are in pain, all they can do is look at you with their sad eyes and hope you have the compassion to feel their pain because they can feel yours.

I could go on and on about this subject but the short of it is I just do not understand what is wrong with people.. How can anyone in their right mind abuse an animal? I guess I've answered my own question, they are not in their right mind to begin with. 

Standing here on the brink of time I look and see only you.
I know this is the end.
I don't think I can ever love,
not in this life.
You brought me so much joy!
It's not your fault ... the end of our' JOY.
just simply your time
to leave this life.
I remember when I first met you,
I knew instantly it was love.
Now I stand here at this bitter end.
Why Now? Why must this end?
You were so young and full of joy.
To everyone you expressed your compassion and love. Only given to me for a short time.
I miss you!
Now I stand here, drained of life.
With you I had life.
I never thought it would end,
But one Tuesday afternoon he came for you, And took away 0 my joy.
Now I stand here and count the time.
I have nothing to love.
Except memories of our love and memories of your life.
So slow moves the time
and I greatly anticipate it's end. I await my future joy ...
YOU!
 

I Love You

No other, can I ever love!
You hold my heart and all it's joy.
You are my life,
and when you perished it was truly my end, Now I stand here, stuck in time.
I hate time, and I miss you!
I can feel my end, and soon our love.
At last I've run out of life, and have become filled with incredible joy
 

Love Makes the World go Round!

Love is something that everyone yearns f(r,
but not everyone receives.
Love is the greatest joy in the world,
but ends with the sharpest pains.
Love is something you share with friends,
but love itself has no friends.
Love unites you with one person,
but divides you from others.
Love can put a smile on your face,
but also a tear in your eye.
Love can be something you don't ever feel,
but everyone is loved.
Love drives people to the very end,
But Love Makes the World go Round!

Eternal rest

I stand in anticipation for the greatest challenge of my life.
As I look up, I cannot see the top.
The hill is so high and so steep.
I know that others have made it by the markings on the rocks.
I climb higher and higher, until I decide to stop.
I look out over the mountain, and I see all that I have done.
I persist further, until I cannot see the bottom.
Alone and scared I have only thoughts as my company.
I think of all the memories I've- had...
Sometimes good sometimes bad.
I strive for the, top; I see it in my grasp.
I cannot change my mind now... there is no turning back.
I pull myself up and look out at my life.
As I sit peacefully and rest my weary soul,
I reflect on my memories once, again.
It's over now, and I know that, but I gave it all I had.
Now this is my ending, and I am no longer scared.
I flee from my seat and run until I hit the ledge.
Then I jump to my heaven, my souls eternal bed.

         I have the most loving and supportive family that anyone could ask for.  My
 mother and father are very spiritual, and try to encourage my sisters and I to be in touch
 with our souls.  As far back as I can remember my father would always say, "find you
 passion in life, and you'll live a full and happy life." I never quite understood what he
 meant, but I believed him and I began to search.
        This past summer my life was turned upside down.  I lost a friend in late spring,
 which made me question life and why we are here?  I broke up with my boyfriend, who
 was also my best friend.  I didn't want to go to college, and I was being forced to.  I
 became a monster, a whole different person.
        I felt like my perfect secure world was coming to an end.  I was so unhappy.  I did
 not cry, I refused to be vulnerable.  I didn't show respect to my family.  In fact, I tried to
 stay far away from them and when I was with them I was nasty towards them.  I didn't
 want anyone to see how upset I was.  I refused to talk or see my exboyfriend/ best friend.
 I had built up hatred against the world.
        I would purposely say things to hurt my family.  I wouldn't eat with them or in
 front of them just to make them worry and to aggravate them.  I wanted them to be mad
 at me.  I told my parents I wasn't going to college, and if they made me I would fall all
 my classes so I couldn't stay in school.  This was all caused by fear, fear of losing
 someone.  I thought if I wasn't close to anyone I wouldn't miss anyone if they left my
 life.  I tried to distant myself from everything and everyone who mattered.
       The only thing that kept me from going totally insane was my job.  I worked 40
hours a week on a private estate working with gardens.  I could relax and become myself
while working in nature.  I loved making something alive and beautiful.  It canned me
and made me smile.  I had built a love for my job, and that become the only thing that
made sense in my life.  I found "my passion in life."
        I realized that nature was my passion when I came to Ithaca.  I realized what
 makes me truly happy and who and what I want to be in my life.  Because of nature and
 my passion I have healed immensely in the past few months.  I have a stronger bond with
 my family.  My exboyfriend and I are best friends who see each other often and who
 support each other again when things become difficult.  And most importantly I've found
 myself, and the important things in my life.

'Tis a gift to be simple, 'Tis a gift to to be free
'Tis a gift to come down where you ought to be
And when we find ourselves in the place just right
'twill be in the valley of love & delight
    When true simplicity is gained
    To bow & to bend we shall not be ashamed
    To turn, turn will be our delight
    Til by turning & turning we come 'round right

The earth is the Lord's & the fullness thereof
Its streets, its slums, as well as stars above
Salvation is here where we laugh, where we cry
Where we seek & love, where we live & die
    When true liberty is found
    By fear & and by hate we will no more be bound
    In love & in life we will find a new birth
    In peace & in freedom redeem the earth