I can honestly say that from the moment that I was born, I knew that I wanted to be in the spotlight, one way or another.  My mother still remembers the moment that she saw me in front of my 1st grade class performing a production of Little Red Riding Hood, I being the lead.  She recalls the way that I glowed with my red cape on. She knew from right then and there, the bug had bitten me.  I myself realized the dream and to this day, I have wished that I kept up with it.  Throughout this paper I am going to discuss this year.  I realized this year, that my goal in life is something more then what I have been striving for.  I am going to discuss how this class and paper have changed my life and the direction that it will be going in.
 From the moment that I stepped on stage in the 1st grade, I knew that I had to do something that had to do with acting.  I had always been a very shy little girl, often times you could find me hiding behind my mother if someone that I didn’t know asked me a question.  When I socialized with other children, I only socialized with children that I was comfortable with.  I never usually branched out unless they approached me.  I liked the feeling that I got when I was onstage because not only was I not myself, I was playing other characters, but I was also good at it.
 During the summers, I was the girl who sat on the swing in the backyard and thought up scenarios of what would happen if I won an academy award.  I started young and I knew that this was what I wanted to do.
 In the 6th grade, I went with a friend to one of her acting classes.  The name of the school was called Way Off Broadway.  This was the best place that I had ever been to.  For two hours we got to learn our technique while using our imagination.  When I got home I explained to my mother how much I wanted to participate in the classes.  When we researched the price, we came to conclusion that it was too expensive.  I understood and although I was disappointed, I was 11; there were so many other things to preoccupy myself with.  It was not until later that night my mother got a phone class from the director of the class.  She stated that she saw something in me and she was interested in working with me more closely.  My mother stated that the price was more then she could pay at that moment, the director simply replied by telling her that she wanted to work with me and she would allow me to go for free.  Both my mother and I were ecstatic with the news.  We later found out that the woman who was the director of the program was a Manager and an Agent.  This meant that she had connections to big modeling and acting agencies in New York City.  My mother I discuss it, and we talked about the events that were going to happen in the future should not to be taken seriously.  There are many young actors out there and I was not going to get my hopes up had I not gotten my big break.
 My mother and I went into N.Y. City several times over the next few months.  I auditioned for commercials and movies; I unfortunately did not get any responses.  I sent in pictures to different agencies and luckily I was able to be granted a modeling contract.  I thought that this was it; I was going to be famous.
 By this point in my career, I had reached 7th grade.  Auditions for the Middle School play “Charlotte’s Web” was about to begin and I could taste the lead part.  “Charlotte’s Web” is about a runt pig, Wilber, who is about to meet his match with the butcher’s block.  Fern is able to see the runt for what he is and insists on making sure that Wilber is not killed.  I was determined to get the part of Fern.  After a week of auditions every day after school, I earned my right to have that part, and I got it.
 Rehearsals took place almost everyday for the next three months.  I worked unbelievably hard, memorizing songs, lines and dance moves.  This was all while I was trying to keep up with my schoolwork.  My mother and I soon realized that I didn’t have time to pursue my professional career of being an actor; together we decided not to go into the city as much.  Modeling fell to the wayside as well.  Unconsciously, I was throwing away an opportunity that I may never have again.  At the rime however, I thought that it was the right decision.
 Throughout High School I continued with my acting.  I made sure that I auditioned for every school play possible.  In my four-years of High School I was in all the plays, I was in Repertory Company which is a select group of people chosen to participate in an acting club, I enjoyed every last moment of it.
 When I was applying to college, it was only natural that I was going to look for a school that offered an acting major.  When I looked at Ithaca College, the first thing that I was thrilled about was that the school had everything that I was looking for.  I planned on doing really well on my audition and I would be able to participate in the acting major.
        I worked on my monologues for months and was prepared to blow the directors away.  I unfortunately did not do as well as I had hoped and did not receive a letter of acceptance into the Acting school.  I did, however receive an acceptance letter into Ithaca College and with that, I made my next move and went to college.
 Here, at Ithaca College, I have learned an enormous amount over the past few years, I have made good friends, formed great relationships, I, however have felt a sense of great loss lately.  This past semester I have felt that I didn’t have any direction in my career path.  I have studied a major, but was never able to really appreciate it.  I was going through the motions, but never really appreciating what I was learning.  It was not until this semester that I realized what I was doing.  I missed many things that were in my life.  I missed a part of me.  I questioned everything.
 Should I transfer back home?
 Should I go to a different school?
 Should I not live with the people that I am living with?
 When I started taking your class, I was in the middle of what I would like to call a quarter-life crisis.  I felt that I had no direction and although I was already a second semester junior, I began to feel that I wanted to give up on everything.  I wanted to leave the school that I had once loved and forget about the fact that I had almost just finished my major of Speech Communications.  From the moment that I entered your class, I noticed positive energy that I have rarely come into contact with.  I enjoyed the class, I was just at the wrong point in my life, and believe me- Math was the last thing that I wanted to participate in.  I began giving up on school and myself.
 It took me a while to realize what had been wrong with me.  I at first thought that maybe the reason that I had been so upset was because of my parents.  My parents recently have been going through a divorce.  Since these events have gone on, I have moved from Long Island (where I grew up) to Florida, all the while doing my schooling in Ithaca.  I then thought the reasons for my troubles were because I was so far away from my family, and I began to think that I was extremely homesick.  It was not until recently I realized why I had been so distraught.  I missed my path.  I missed the direction that I was supposed to take.  I have always wanted to be in the lights; here I was in the snow.  As much as I appreciate what I have learned throughout my schooling, there has always been one thing that made me truly happy.
 My path may have taken me in another direction, but I do believe that I was taken here to show me what I really want to do with my life, and what I am meant to do.  I have promised myself since before I can remember that I was going to be something.  My mother has always told me that she has seen a light around me from the moment that I was born.  I may have gotten caught up in the lifestyle of being at college, but it was not until the moment that I sat down to write this paper that I was able to find out what went all wrong.
 My deepest gratitude goes to you, Dani.  There are not many people who understand the trials and tribulations that one goes through.  Life is beautiful, but there comes a point when you question that beauty.  I have never been able to pinpoint how much my dream has meant to me, I now know.  It means life, and I am grateful that I have found it once again.