Well, I don't think I have being doing a clear job
at expressing my emotions and feelings in this class thus far, but what
I am about to write and share with you is in fact an emotional experience
that I went through as a child.
Now that I am older and wiser, I am more comfortable and educated in
talking about my parents divorcing. This happened when I was a very
young child. I know now as an adult the reasons for my parents divorcing
and understanding all the emotions and hurtful things that happened to
my family.
As a child, I was privilegtdto have a supportive, loving and what I
thought
"happy" family. My parents always seemed to be happy and satisfied
with one another on the outside, but inside my parents were the complete
opposite. I realize now after many years and several intense conversations
with my parents that they showed this so called "happiness" to protect
my brother and I because we were little children.
When my parents divorced, it tore my family completely apart.
I can clearly
remember as a child lying in my bed at night hearing my mom sob in
her room. She was
so sad, and I did not know what to do. All I realized was that
my dad was gone physically. My dad moved out of the house, and my
family instantly began to break apart. My brother, he was five at
the time, was extremely affected by the divorce. He began to spend
less time with his friends and played by himself in the house daily.
Adam actually went through a phrase when he barely communicated with people.
I remember my mom used to make me spend time with my brother after school,
and at that point in
my life, I wanted to be playing dolls with my girlfriends, not hanging
out playing video games with my brother.
The divorce made me grow up very fast. I was the object that
kept my mom and brother emotionally together. I had to push my feelings
aside, hold my tears and anger back in order to protect them. That
was a very hard duty to put on a 7-year-old girl.
My dad would call my brother and I every night. Even though he
lived a thousand miles away, he was as dedicated as he could be.
My parents would argue constantly, and it was me who was constantly in
the middle. While my mother yelled harsh comments about my father
to me, I was on the phone to relay the message to him. Being in the
middle of my parents arguments was the hardest thing I had to do, and I
am still in the same position today at the age of 19.
My brother grew stronger, and with time began to accept my parents
divorce and that they were happier being separated. Today, both my
mom and dad are remarried and have both built new fairnilies. Even
though the divorce was a very long and traumatic experience for both my
brother and me it has made me a stronger person. I now appreciate
the many relationships I have established with people in my life.
I love my parents just as much as I did when they were married, and I am
happy that they both have created and moved on with new lives and partners.
I hope that through my experiences and the many lessons that I have learned
from my parents divorce that I can help younger children who have or are
experiencing hardships such as divorce in their lives.