A friendship between two IC alumni has spanned decades and continents.

by Ellen Potter

In 1966 Robert Yaasi ’69, a freshman from Ghana, moved into a single room in the Terraces, hoping for a quiet place to focus on his studies. Unfortunately, his next-door neighbor, Steve Yager ’69, had other ideas. Yager played Bob Dylan at top volume until Yaasi wryly offered Yager a check for $10,000 to turn off his music. The check was postdated 30 years in the future.

Thirty-five years later Yager still has that check ("Bob never could accumulate enough money to cover it," Yager jokes), as well as an extraordinary friendship with his old dorm mate.

Yaasi, assistant professor and director of the Division of Learning Resources at Howard University College of Dentistry, and Yager, a special education teacher and specialist in the Fairfax County, Virginia, school system, have during those three and a half decades never gone more than a few weeks without calling each other. They have attended every major event --- christenings, graduations, weddings, and funerals --- in each other’s families. And while Yager has lived variously in Boston, New York, Los Angeles, and Maryland, Yaasi has visited him in every single city.

"I had to keep moving," laughs Yager. "I was trying to get away from Bob. But somehow he always found me."

The two are by turns teasing and deferential, as comfortable with each other as siblings. In fact, their lives have become so intertwined that their conversations are downright cryptic: "Bob, remember that time in Disney World . . . with the thing . . . ?" "Oh, yeah . . . and how your daughter piped up and told that guy . . . " "That was hysterical!" But they have also been there for each other during difficult times --- when Yager’s father died recently, Yaasi attended the funeral --- and they both insist that they can always count on each other for help, no matter the situation.

"Last year," Yaasi says, "my sister’s teenage son was having problems, and she wanted me to talk to him. I immediately called Steve. We both took my nephew to a restaurant and talked to him, like two uncles." In fact, Yager has always been known as "Uncle Steve" to Yaasi’s daughters, Joana and Francesca. When Francesca didn’t know where she wanted to go to college, she didn’t consult her dad, who was growing impatient with her indecisiveness. Instead, she called Uncle Steve, who sat down with her and helped her make a selection. The Ghanaian family, says Yager, is a remarkably tight-knit unit. As an "adopted" member of the Yaasi family, he feels completely accepted.

In 1998 Yaasi and Yager traveled together to Ghana to celebrate the 80th birthday of Yaasi’s mother, Beatrice. Yager was overwhelmed by the warmth and hospitality that were extended to him. Afterward, Yaasi took his friend on a tour of Ghana, "both the poor and the wealthy sections, so that Steve could have an honest perspective of my country." The two also visited Yaasi’s retirement home in a suburb of Accra, Ghana’s capital. Yaasi, who expects to retire in 2006, built the home with four bedrooms --- one for himself and his wife, Jessie, and two for his daughters and their families. The fourth bedroom is for Yager.

Yaasi is eager to move back to his beloved homeland. He initially decided to come to the United States after working for the Ghana Broadcasting System. A friend who was studying at Cornell told him about "a small college next door to Cornell that has one of the best radio and television schools in the whole country." Yaasi applied, much to his father’s chagrin (his father was a lawyer who had wanted his son to become a judge) and was accepted into Ithaca College. Political unrest in Ghana kept him from returning after graduation, and later he was reluctant to uproot his American-born children. Now that his children are grown, he is ready to move back. Still, he is unsure if he’ll be able to stand being away from his four grandchildren for long. As for missing his friend, he knows that Yager, who fell in love with Ghana, will likely be a frequent guest.

This year Yager has two students whose parents are from Ghana. The parents were hesitant to deal with people who came from a different culture, but Yager’s friendship with Yaasi and his trip to Ghana allowed him to establish a connection.

"I told one of the boys about an experience I had in Ghana," says Yager. "Bob and I were late for an appointment and couldn’t get transportation, so I decided to hitchhike. I stuck out my thumb. Bob said that was probably not a good idea, but I didn’t listen. All the drivers who went by either rolled down their windows and yelled at me or honked their horns. Finally, I turned to Bob and asked him what I was doing wrong. He said that putting up your thumb in Ghana is the same as sticking up your middle finger in America. My student told this story to his father, and his father thought it was really funny. In a strange way, it helped his family to feel connected to me."

When asked if they have ever experienced any difficulties because of their different races, Yaasi and Yager admit that people occasionally stare at them in restaurants. But it doesn’t really bother them: as far as they are concerned, they are "kin, not skin."

"And by the way," Yager adds, "Bob may be my brother, but make sure to write that he is my much older brother."

"How do you like that?" Yaasi grumbles. "Here I am, a well-bred boy from Africa who takes a Jewish boy and polishes him up and makes him presentable. Where’s the gratitude?"