When Corey Rothermel ’96 walked into his 8 a.m. poetry class in the fall of 1993, he knew the moment he saw Douglas Nesff ’96 that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

It was almost a year until the two began dating, but they have been together ever since.

On March 10, they traveled six miles from their Oakland, Ca., home and got hitchednearly 24 hours before the San Francisco Supreme Court ordered a cessation of the gay marriages that the city’s clerk had been performing since Valentine’s Day.

The couple had been discussing having a big marriage ceremony with friends and family there — perhaps even at Ithaca College’s own Muller Chapel — for some time, and did not initially plan to participate the marriages in San Francisco. But as media fervor increased, the two decided to be a part of history.

“It sort of felt like, OK, we’re at another historic moment in gay history, and it felt like participating in this was sort of like standing up to be heard,” Rothermel said. “It was like casting a vote and taking yourself out of the comfort of your own private life and putting yourself in a place where you’re like, ‘I wish to be counted.’”

Rothermel said that the day was perfect, but he was crushed when he discovered after work the next day that the 2,700-plus couples who still had appointments to be married could not until the Supreme Court made a decision in late May or early June.

“Everyone was just saying to us how lucky we were, but as blessed as we felt to be among other couples who were lucky enough to get the service, it was hard to feel happy when you knew there were so many people who were going to be denied,” Rothermel said.

In response to the thousands of couples rushing to San Francisco, President Bush announced that he would support a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Since then, officials in Multnomah and Benon counties in Oregon, and New Paltz, N.Y., have followed San Francisco’s lead.

To avoid the legal struggles that San Francisco is now facing, City of Ithaca Mayor Carolyn Peterson announced on Monday, March 1, that the city will hand out marriage applications to gay couples. She said the city would join the couples in a legal battle if, as expected, the state Department of Health denies the application if the couple decides to bring a lawsuit. She said the city will also now recognize gay marriages that were solemnized in other cities or countries.

The mayor of Nyack, N.Y., along with 19 other people seeking gay marriages, are suing the state and the town clerk for denying them license applications.

Marty Brownstein, associate professor of politics, said he was impressed with the way that Ithaca’s strategy tested the limits of the law without the risk of sending anyone to jail.

“It was quite thrilling, I was moved more than I expected to be,” Brownstein said. “I think the city of Ithaca has probably determined the most creative and the most clever legal challenge to the denial of same sex marriage of any of the communities so far.”

There are close to 1,800 rights and responsibilities — 1,049 federal and more than 700 state — given to married couples. Neither civil unions nor domestic partnerships, which range from giving all state rights to only the documentation of a relationship, secure the federal rights and responsibilities. Federal rights include Social Security, survivor benefits, family medical leave, pensions, immigration rights and taxation advantages.

In 1990, Ithaca became the first place in the country to pass legislation allowing domestic partnerships. Prior to Peterson’s announcements, couples in Ithaca who have been married elsewhere, such as Canada, had to apply for a domestic partnership in addition to their wedding certificates in order to receive city recognition and rights.

Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, which says no state can be forced to recognize gay marriages. This law has yet to be challenged in the courts. Bush’s proposed amendment would outlaw gay marriages all together.

Although churches can perform the religious ceremony, gay activists are working to achieve civil marriage. Lisa Maurer, coordinator of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Education, Outreach and Services at Ithaca College, married her partner in Canada earlier this year. Maurer said she wanted to take advantage of any opportunity to receive more rights.

“I filled out my taxes last weekend. Boring, mundane, whatever. Question number two, question number three, I have to check single. Now that doesn’t sound like a big deal, except that we’ve been together almost 10 years,” she said. “Some people say, ‘Eh, it’s only a form.’ It’s not only a form. It’s my life.”

Many who oppose same-sex marriage believe that marriage should be a religious institution between a man and a woman.

Pastor John Sotero, of the First Assembly of God in Ithaca, said he supports Bush’s proposed constitutional amendment.

“We would hope the efforts to strengthen the traditional family would be supported,” Sotero said. “Marriage and the family continue to be the foundation for a strong country, especially ours, that was founded under God.”

Ithaca resident Jason Seymour, who was wed by civil union to his partner in Vermont in 2002, said his marriage has nothing to do with the society around him.

“As the religious radical wrong will say, ‘the sanctity of marriage’ — where’s the sanctity of marriage when there’s a 50 percent divorce rate?” Seymour said. “They’re saying gays are making a mockery of the institution of marriage. No, game shows and getting [married] for frivolous purposes are making a mockery of marriage.”

Senior Braeden Sullivan, a queer rights activist, said he supports equal rights and believes that gays should be able to be married if others can, but said that because of these flaws in marriage, he does not believe in the institution. He said gay activists should spend more of their energies on other issues like fighting suicide rates and violence against gays.

“What about the people who don’t care about getting married?” Sullivan said. “A lot of people are against the institution of marriage. A lot of people aren’t necessarily interested in marriage and see it as a heterosexual institution that they don’t want to take a part in.”

Brownstein said many students who may not have had an opinion on gay marriage are being forced to think about the issue.

“When the issue emerged in my media and politics class, we had two or three wonderfully thoughtful and nuanced and cordial conversations about this,” Brownstein said. “People were not angry and red faced. People were speaking directly to each other’s concerns. That didn’t mean that everyone agreed, but it meant that the conversation was far more thoughtful and far more civil than maybe I would have expected going in, and that means that people really are listening.”

Senior writer Mike Nagel contributed to this story.