NAZE NANI NADESHIKO -- 2.2.2004
The Anime Society of Ithaca College Newsletter


REMEMBER HULK HOGAN? WHEN WILL IT STOP? ELECTRIC SLIDE!
Two weeks down and we haven't broken anything yet. Congrats, it's a new ASIC record! In honor of this momentous occasion, we're planning on stringing a giant banner from the lights and sprinkler riggings next week. No, that's not looking for trouble. Looking for trouble is line dancing on the desk up front. Which we won't do. Again. Maybe.

Beginning this week's meeting with the second half of "El Hazard", we laughed and cried and cried and cried. Then, Jim's tape ran out. (And, the President quickly pushed everyone out for an impromptu break.) But, getting things all cued up, we gazed upon the sweet, sentimental close of the mysterious world. In the end, we all learned of the idiocy of war and power of love. If only we had this animation in 1939, we could have avoided World War II.

But, we didn't. And, millions of lives were lost and concentrated orange juice and the computer were invented. And, with the tick and tock of the clock, concentrated orange juice gained a tangerine twist and computers grew smaller, stronger, and arms and legs. Looking into the future, it's not hard to see a world of banana-tangerine-kiwi-orange juice and computers and humans being indistinguishable. Well, Shirow Masamune's already seen this future, and now, in "Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX", we can see it, too.

The actual storyline beginning in earnest this week, we were treated to endless, repetitive, boring exposition. Wait, is "treated" the right word? Well, Mokoto spent the whole evening in her underwear in a high-rise apartment with two lady friends so...


PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS VS. CHAPEL THE EVERGREEN! BATTLE ROYALE!
ASIC member Josh Breidbart was busy over Winter Break. Was he doing work? Sleep? A job? Altering the specs of characters in "WWE Smack Down" to match the likenesses of Vegeta, Rock Lee, Wolfwood, and Gene Starwind. No. No. No. Bingo. And, this week, we saw the fruits of his labor, in the first (of hopefully many) anime royal rumbles. The characters all locked in, we sat back and let them have at it. Emotions tense, voices hoarse, and pennies on the line, the bout ended with Majin Vegeta savaging the competition.


HOW DOES A GHOST HAVE A SHELL? THIS DUDE EXPLAINS! MINI-DISC PLAYER!
"Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX" is a complex world filled with robots, cyborgs, androids, automatons, mecha, tin men, droids, Autobots, etc. To help you make sense of all the different species of R2 units, here's Yoshiki Sakurai from ProductionIG.com to explain. This week's topic, Cyberbrains...

The approximation of mobile media to physical human body started with portable then wearable terminals, and finally settled to implantable terminals which ushered civilization into a new era where man and machine were no longer separate.

Such integration was realized by direct transplanting of communication terminals to the physical body, allowing the body and mind to interact immediately with standard computer and network technology. These implantables gradually took over the outdated portable/wearable technology, to be recognized as the prototype of "Cyberbrain."

After the ever-growing technology introduced the practical utility of micro-machines, cyberbrains became both safe and inexpensive. This caused rapid popularization of cyberbrains within countries that had little or no religion restrictions, such as Japan.

But the wide prevalence of cyberbrains caused social anxiety: people were exposed to risks of brain-hack because of their neural connection to the entire population using cyberbrains.

The most serious brain-hacking crime was "Ghost Hack", a case where total individuality including past memories and body discretion of a certain person became the subject of the hacker. Various countermeasures were taken, such as the development of numerous protective walls and barriers along with reinforcement of regulations, not to mention security intensification within the neural network system.

But they failed to abolish cyber-crimes, thus resulting in a rat race: further development of protective walls and barriers, and the emergence of more intelligent and original hackers.


CARTOONS ARE FOR SISSIES! GROWN-UPS WATCH LIVE-ACTION TV (BASED ON CARTOONS)!
Sci Fi, the network that's through us "Epoch", "Tremors: The Series", and "Anaconda IV", has just made a deal to produce a live-action "Witch Hunter Robin" (http://www.animenation.net/news/index.php?id=5836). It could be good. Then again, couldn't they just show the animation? Wait, that's been bought up by Cartoon Network. "Wolf Rain"'s been picked up, too. Has "Yukikaze"?

Hideaki Anno's live-action "Cutie Honey" (http://www.cutiehoney.com/) will feature an animated intro by none other than Anno's old pals in the biz, Gainax (http://www.gainax.co.jp/hills/anno/honey/index.html). (In a somewhat related bit of text, I've been watching Anno's "Kare Kano". A story of highschool love, it's sweet, strong, and sentimental -- if not a bit heavy-handed. What's really something is that the story's told through "EVA"-colored glasses, so we've got the same stock shots of telephone poles, deserted streets, and traffic lights that made up 87% of "Evangelion"'s narrative.)


TOO MUCH TALK! NOT ENOUGH CARTOONS! NOTHING ABOUT PIRATES!
We say a lot of witty stuff at ASIC. A lot of smart things. None of that's recordered here, however. Instead, this is all the meaningless trash we spew out recorded for posterity...

"Every ASIC man is mandated to grow a beard before Spring Break."
"He's got a pee pee."
"The cat doesn't count."
"Will you stop singing, Josh?"
"I love gadgets."
"It's a gundam!"
"What was it like meeting Alan Alda?"
"The nostril of extreme power!"
"Yo."
"Not everyone can look manly in Pikachu slippers."
"Crazy weirdo freak or Nazi, you decide."
"I want my magic gumball."
"Get up, Vegeta!"
"Magical Plot Power!"
"I like "Starship Troopers". I saw it twice opening night. There were guns, and robots, and spaceships, and boobies. And, Doogie Howser was a Space Nazi."
"They have the most advanced technology, but they have bags for shoes."
"Are they transforming or passing gas?"
"Are you gettin' any?"
"Captain Planet!"
"I get such violent urges in my pants."
"You sunk my Bugoumship!"
"You are so slow."
"Will someone kick her in the balls?"
"Take off your clothes!"
"Are the Bugrom talking French?"
"He looks so feminine."
"Cook me dinner."
"That poor Bugrom!"
"Why's her ass crooked?"
"Stick it in her ass."
"Everyone's dead."
"Wow... It's scary that Jinnai is actually a pretty competent commander."
"Sounds like a nerd."
"Way to go, Dwarfy."
"Flashback for fun!"
"Uhhh..."
"Don't touch the staff!"


IVANOVA IS GOD! THE RIGHT HAND OF VENGEANCE LIVES IN GLENDALE!
Claudia Christian will lend her voice to the videogame adaptation of "Shrek 2".


ALREADY MARRIED! SHE'S THE CHICK WHO SANG KINGDOM HEARTS'S THEME!
Hikaru Utada's releasing a new single (http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=TOCT-4700) on 3.10.


MISA'S HOT! MAX KICKS ASS! DO YOU WANT AN OCTOPUS HIGHBALL?
I have a friend named Qubeley. Yeah, that's not his actual name, but he's a Gundam fan and fancies himself some kind of real life AMX-004 (http://mahq.net/mecha/gundam/z/amx-004.htm). (What's the deal with people calling themselves by anime names in the first place?) As I was saying, he's a "Gundam" fan. Meanwhile, I pledge my allegiance to Japan's other giant robot space opera, "Macross". Now, you may scratch your head in bewilderment at how the two of us can get along. Shouldn't we be fighting like a sci-fi fan at a renaissance fair? Well, yes, however, both "Gundam" and "Macross" have two ton tin men, and we can set aside our differences, both commonly praying at the altar of kill bots.

And, Qubeley knows a VF-1 could take down a RX-78-2 any day of the week.

In this spirit, getting home from my winter holiday, I found an e-mail from Qubeley. "1/48 Max/Milly Valks. All red and all blue. None of this 'Movie' crap. Super only. 19800 each." Yes, that's right, Yamato's releasing 1/48 renditions of Max and Milia's Super VF-1J Valkyries. And, with the current exchange rate, you'll have to mortgage the house. It's big news. Yamato's already released Max's "Do You Remember Love" VF-1A; however, the new toys will depict super genius Max and his hot alien wife's custom birds in their TV series paint schemes. Now, while the "DYRL" colors are what's considered canon, some people prefer the original show's solid blue and red paint jobs. And, Yamato, wanting to make fans of the color blue happy (and wanting to surround themselves with a lot more color green) are firing up the 1/48 molds for the newest addition to the line. Personally, I prefer the movie colors. Now, if I knew a single person other than Qubeley understood what I was typing, I'd write more.


MACROSS PLUS! COWBOY BEBOP! ESCAFLOWNE! MY MORNING WAKE UP CD!
Did total babe Yoko Kanno write the score to "STAND ALONE COMPLEX"? Yes. Is she a total babe? Yes.


TOM CRUISE IS AN IDIOT! HE AIN'T A SAMURAI, EITHER! MEIJI CANDY!
Tom Cruise has compared (http://au.news.yahoo.com/040109/19/n84l.html) Buddhism and Scientology. He's forgotten that Buddhism is one of Asia's most widespread, deeply rooted faiths and Scientology is a scam. I, though, haven't. Visit Xenu.net!


AMERICAN ANIMATION! BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE!
Disney's axed their Florida Feature Animation department. The artists, not giving up on superior hand-drawn 2D animation, have founded (http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=16759) their own studio.

Archie Comics is going to redesign their "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" comic with a manga look (http://animenewsnetwork.com/article.php?id=4496).


WE NEED BULLETS! LOTS OF BULLETS! THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!
Last week, I mentioned the American ban of sliced bread during WWII but said the reason behind it was never revealed. Well, Professor Izbicki provides the answer (http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20020423.html)...

"It's a little known fact that on January 18, 1943, the Secretary of Agriculture banned the sale of sliced bread in the United States until the end of the war effort. The reason? The metal from bread-slicing machines was needed for guns, tanks, and other war supplies."

And, a critique...

"Wouldn't there be a lot more metal in the tens of thousands of bread knives used by individual homes? So much for the logic of governments. I guess they figured Americans wouldn't give up their bread knives but the bakers'machines could be confiscated with little difficulty."

This is why Izbicki's the professor and I'm the undergrad screenwriting major currently writing a pithy newsletter instead of a script.


CRACK THE WORLD'S SHELL! OTAKU ORGY! 2.5!
Forget homework, don't go out with friends, and the girl who wants to get drunk with you doesn't really love you! In other words, come to ASIC! Vespa your way down to CNS 115 next Thursday at 7:30 PM because we've got "Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX" for the fellas and "Fruits Basket" for the ladies. Yes, Helena, we're showing "Fruits Basket".


OKURAYAMA HILL! POLITICS AND STUFF! INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS!
Chinese Vice President Zeng Qinghong's shaken up over Japan's SDF deployment in Iraq, calling the issue sensitive (http://home.kyodo.co.jp/all/display.jsp?an=20040112075) and telling Tokyo to learn its history, uneasy with the idea of Japanese soldiers in other states with the shadows and scars (and discarded poison gas canisters -- http://www.japantimes.com/cgi-bin/getarticle.pl5?nn20031004a4.htm) of the Imperial Japanese Army still heavy on China's consciousness.

Come on, Zeng, it's not like Japan still feels herself right and stands by her actions during the the Greater East Asian War. Sure, Koizumi visits Yasukuni, but it's not like that. Really. I mean, it's not wholly a tribute to atrocities that Japan's never apologized for. And, they make good cartoons, so let's not think about any of this. I can't just go online and find the final letter of a Kamikaze pilot gloriously enshrined. Oh (http://www.yasukuni.or.jp/english/main.html#1)...

"Father, I am a member of the chivalrous special attack unit. My mission will be early next spring. We are scheduled to have leave on base during the New Year. That is why I want to eat my favorite dish which is rice cakes. Today we have leave as a day of special rest. I will certainly have leave during the New Year but I won't be able to meet you. That is why I will eat my rice cakes and meet my end bravely with my brother-in-arms Tanaka. Father, I trust that you have already prepared yourself. Please be sure to send the rice cakes so that they will reach by January 1st. At the lodgings (that I have temporarily decided on) there is a couple with a child. I will have my rice cakes and set out to knock down an enemy aircraft carrier. Ha-ha-ha. I end my message to you with prayers for your immense health and happiness. Please extend my regards to everyone."

So, maybe I can, but these were soldiers fighting for their flag, for their emperor, for their country, for their father, and for their mother. They gave their all, their very last, to a cause they believed in. There's no proof they raped and razed villages. What? I'm a Vichy sympathizer reactionary? Listen, if Japan doesn't honor her war dead their ghosts (http://www.japantimes.com/cgi-bin/getarticle.pl5?nn20031022b5.htm) will return.

Seriously, though, the Japanese soldiers sent to Iraq are there to restore a civilization that was destroyed. 90% of the residents of Samawah, a city where the SDF will help rebuild a hospital, are welcoming the troops. And, the Japanese personnel are aware (http://home.kyodo.co.jp/all/display.jsp?an=20040112076) of the other 10%. They're not there to occupy or enslave. Come on, China, they're not American.

Shifting gears, North Korea's saying she'll halt (http://home.kyodo.co.jp/all/display.jsp?an=20040112904) her graphite-moderated reactors if the US gives her adequate compensation.


HTTP://WWW.TOOMUCHTIMEONYOURHANDS.COM!
Genesis-Androids.co.jp, a website seen in "Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX", does not exist. WhatBadgersEat.com, seen in "The Simpsons", however, does.


SOMETHING MILDLY FUNNY, DIRTY, OR RANDOM GOES HERE! BEEP! BEEP!
The Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, and Transport in Kanagawa Prefecture is developing an all-women taxi service (http://www12.mainichi.co.jp/news/mdn/search-news/896461/taxi-0-5.html). Japanese women afraid to ride in taxis after dark, fearing the male drivers, will now have an alternative. The idea of a female taxi company isn't anything new, though, the premise first explored in the 1988 "Lusty Checkerboard! Red Light Sex!" hentai OAV.


CRICKETS! FLIES! AUDITORY PARASITES! THE THINGS YOU LEARN AT COLLEGE!
Did you know polar bears camouflage their nose while hunting? Well, they do. Get thinking what you want to do for a marathon, because we'll be deciding in the coming weeks. Until next time, if you have any anecdotes, stories, rants about "Mansfield Park", or crappy Gothic poetry, send it to sagepage@mac.com, and I'll make you famous, or at least stuff your words into 40 mailboxes.


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http://www.ithaca.edu/orgs/anime/

Peter Tatara
ASIC's Ein