Been a little quiet here in the Rattle offices of late. I'm sure plenty of fascinating stuff has been going on all across campus. Let's just say we're going to read the cough syrup instructions more thoroughly next time and leave it at that.

Turns out we came out of our stupor just in time. The Parkerati have rekindled that most fabled of IC film endeavors, the Golden Doorknob Awards, for the first time in nearly two decades. All our aspiring Hitchcocks need is a dream...and the creative vision to murder someone with a doorknob without being pedestrian about it.

And you thought college was all about personal development and community service.

Back in the day, when the application of ordinary household items as instruments of death was commonplace, legendary cinema and photography professor Skip Landen started the Golden Doorknob as a way to encourage his students to think outside what had yet to be identified as "the box." The idea was to "challenge the students to make a simple film with a good idea and a good script." 

It's a shame Skip never had a sit-down with Michael Bay.

Anyway, every student in the program made a doorknob film (usually silent and in black and white), and even the most famous among them -- including Bill Carraro '81 (producer, The Golden Compass) and Dan Heffner '78 (executive producer, the Saw franchise) -- gets a little misty-eyed/flushed when talking about these golden relics. So much so that Park alums finally made enough noise to bring the tradition back to life, which is why the doorknobs will be swinging tonight at 7:00 p.m. in Park Auditorium. Carraro and Heffner will be on the judges' panel, along with professors Peter Johanns and Cathy Crane.

And just so we're clear, no doorknobs were harmed in the making of these films. A few sophomores lost teeth, and at least one freshman will never be able to wear a hat again. Hey, it isn't art without a little sacrifice.

Golden Doorknob Awards and Screening
Thursday, April 30
7:00 p.m.
Park Auditorium

We hope you enjoy these many tales of murder and intrigue, as well as the final showdown between spring lock and bolt knobs. Tune in next week when we encourage woodwind majors to devise the cleverest plan for sticking up a bank with nothing more than a clarinet and a box of reeds.