Operation Crossroads Africa Blog

I've known for some time now that I need to do a final post for this blog, but out of pride I held off because I thought I needed to have solidified "plans" post-graduation before I wrote a conclusion to this huge chapter of my life.

That elusive plan is what I spent my last four months of college cringing at, using humor to pretend that I didn't care that I was repeatedly rejected for jobs. I followed many options, some in Seattle, a few in Ithaca, but I was consistently pulled back to Gambia. Each time I received the notorious two-lined letter stating that the position I had applied for had been filled, I would be somewhat relieved because I knew my heart was leading me back to service work in Gambia.

So, I gave in and decided that I would proverbially 'listen to my heart' and take a job in Gambia or somewhere abroad. Imagine my surprise, then, when I began getting rejected for those jobs. I thought to myself, "surely there cannot be droves of people lining up to serve the poor in West Africa!", but apparently there were and they were all better-qualified to do so than I was. I hit a real low point. I had no confidence in myself or my abilities and I quickly sank into a disgusting self-pity. But, I kept trying.

Thankfully, I finally found a position teaching English to high school seniors in Brikama in Gambia. I couldn't be happier with the situation. I'm very interested in education, I love the location, and it will allow me to live in Jambanjelly, very near to some special people that I care very deeply about. To top it off, I get to help organize the books and collaborate with the village to create a sustainable program that will ensure that the books are actually useful.

Looking back, I feel ashamed of the way I acted in these past few months. Remember when I wrote about being scared that I would forget all that I had seen while in Jambanjelly? Well, now I know I did. Perhaps if I would have remembered Boss, who is trying his hardest in school even though he has no means to go to college to be a doctor, I would not have let that little stint at rejection (my first ever in my life) hit me so hard.

Whatever the case, I'm slowly but surely trying to learn my lesson and preparing my heart for the thousands more I know are coming this next year.

I'm rereading Tracy Kidder's Mountains Beyond Mountains about Paul Farmer and his life's work. I read it when I first got to the Gambia and it truly changed my entire outlook on the world and certainly my experience last summer. I recommend that everyone read the book. Paul Farmer's life is so inspiring and pushes me to want to do more for others. At all times, I feel like there are different factors continually pressing upon me, whether they be from family, friends, or significant others. Sometimes, I wonder where my heart truly lies in the competing factions of my mind and my loyalties. But, I know that I believe in one thing absolutely, which Kidder quotes Paul Farmer as saying in his book:

"Clean water and health care and school and food and tin roofs and cement floors. All of these things should constitute a set of basics that all people should have as birthrights." p. 91.

On July 16th, I'm going back to Gambia to get beyond my two "romantic" experiences in their culture (as international developers call them) to truly understand the underlying issues in education and the ways I may be useful in changing the system to make education a Gambian birthright. I will be chronicling my experiences on a new blog: gambialiving.blogspot.com. Feel free to check it out if you are interested.

Otherwise, I want to thank every one for reading the scattered entries in this blog for the past year. Although they were messy and imperfect, my experiences in Gambia truly changed life. And it is my hope that, in some small way, they changed yours, too.

Gratefully,

Michelle