I don’t even know what to say, Blessed Lord,
      I am so confused.
I am caught in the midst of a violent crisis of faith,
      so uncertain and doubtful.
I am going through a difficult time
      in what touches the depth of my belief.
I am almost tempted to give in
      to impatience and despair.
Something within me cries out for you,
      yet you seem not to be there.
I have broken away from many childhood beliefs.
I decided to let me faith pass through the filter
      of my personal experience.
Suddenly, I found myself too far from you,
      from security and certainty.
If I still turn to you, Blessed Lord,
      it is because I have not yet lost
      the hope of finding
      an exit door
      for my spiritual anguish
I begin to realize
      that by myself I will not be able to overcome
      life’s ambiguities and contradictions.
I know the mystery of you continues,
      and that my faith-existence is a challenge
      to be embraced.
The light of your occasional shadowy presence
      makes me see that my crisis comes
      from the depth of my maturity,
      from the depth of my faith.
The irony, Lord;
      there is a crisis of doubt
      only because there is faith.
Perhaps I have become too demanding
      and too positive.
Open my heart, Lord,
      to the right attitude
      when confronted with questions
      of my faith.