IC News

On Wednesday, October 16, people and organizations all over the world will celebrate the second annual International Pronouns Day, a special occasion created to make respecting, sharing and educating about personal pronouns commonplace.

Luca Maurer, director of LGBTQ education, outreach and services at Ithaca College, helped organize International Pronouns Day and sits on its executive board. IC News spoke with Maurer about the importance of personal pronouns and ways people can encourage the use of more inclusive language.

IC NEWS: Why is it so important to use a person’s personal pronouns?

MAURER: Because referring to people using the pronouns that they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity. It’s the way we show respect for each other.

IC NEWS: What advice do you have for people who might feel awkward asking someone about their pronouns?

MAURER: I think part of the awkwardness is that there’s no exact right thing to do in every situation. I don’t recommend people just jumping into every space and saying “Hey, let’s all give our pronouns right now.” That can be awkward and it can also put some folks in a position where they have to decide whether or not it’s safe to share the pronouns that they use. I always suggest that people look at the context. For example, if you’re part of a longstanding group of people, you can take the opportunity every once in a while to ask group members to share the names and pronouns that they use, recognizing that they may change over time.

What if you’re talking with someone and they use the wrong pronoun to refer to another person? Again, it’s all about context. Usually what I suggest is to gently, unobtrusively correct them. If you’re unsure what to do in such a situation, you can also approach the person privately and say, “Hey, I wanted to check in with you. Sometimes I’m in situations and other people use the wrong pronouns. Is that something that you’d like me to say something about, or is that something that you’d rather I let go and you handle it however you want to deal with it?”

I would encourage people to think about all the ways that we can treat each other with dignity and respect every day, and encourage people to think of pronouns not as one more thing to pay attention to, but one more way that we can recognize each other’s value and worth.

Some folks may have to practice if someone uses a pronoun they’re unfamiliar with, or if someone’s pronouns change. Sometimes it might take a little action on our part, but we do that with people’s names all the time, right? There are some really ingenious, fun and private ways that someone can practice. During International Pronouns Day on our campus, we’ll have a couple of handheld devices so that we can demonstrate some of the pronoun apps that are available.

I don’t think that anybody changes their behavior because they feel shame or blame. I do know that people want to be able to master these ideas at their own pace and without a lot of fanfare. Whether it’s taking five minutes every day to say someone’s name and pronoun out loud, or using an app, it’s all in the service of interacting with each other and conferring human dignity on each other.

IC NEWS: Besides pronouns, are there other ways people can adopt more gender-inclusive language?

MAURER: It comes down to being intentional. There are lots of words in the English language that are gendered for no particular reason except for quirks of history, or because of embedded bias. We’ve inherited a lot of those words. We have to think about when the words that we’ve just always used don’t really represent or don’t really suit everyday life. For example, you could say “freshman” or you could say “first-year student.” You just have to take the extra step of thinking it through. And there may be times that we want to use gendered words. That’s OK, too. I don’t want to live in a world where there’s no gender. That’s not my goal. My goal is to live in a world where everybody can be who they are.