ADOPTING & ACCEPTING MULTIPLE ROLES
“I know my audience. I know what you want to hear. I know what you need. I know what you want and I know what you need to see me do (…) for you to respect me (….) I've always understood that if I don't have good classroom management norms, I can't get anywhere with these kids. I feel like sometimes new teachers come in with this idea of ‘I want the kids to like me,’ when the kids are not looking for you to like them. They're looking for you to be their their teacher, their leader, and once they feel secure in that with you they'll love you, because that's what they need.”
“I remember having to deal with kids in the beginning of my career that wanted to commit suicide. That one kid threatened to punch me in my face. There's always been issues, right? (…) I think at the end of the day I've just been able to navigate and be different things at different times. And I think that one of the biggest issues right now is that teachers come into this thinking, ‘I'm only going to teach a content.’ That's not what you're doing. And I think I've always been comfortable because from the very beginning, I understood teaching is just the tool that I'm using to get you to where I want you to be—the vision I see of you ten years from now. This is just part of it. And part of it is going to mean me having to counsel you at one point, and [at one point] I might have to be a nurse. At one point I might have to be a dean, and I think that I've always been comfortable with that.”
“So when we were coming back from Covid, I was already preparing for what was coming (…) I said, ‘These kids are going to need love. They're going to need some love, nurturing, and patience. And I need to figure out how I'm going to do that from the very beginning. How am I going to start the year right?’ I used to start my year with a letter from a professor that said, ‘I don't like you and I don't care if you like me.’ That's how I used to prepare my seniors for college (…) I couldn't do that. I said, ‘This has to go off the water. I can't do this anymore. These kids are freaking out. I’ve got to come in like a loving mother (…) I’ve got to figure out how to do that.’ And if that's what this profession right now requires—I think a lot of people are dropping out because of that. ‘Oh, I didn't know I had to be a counselor. I didn't know I had to be a drug counselor. I didn't know I had to be a family.’
“I have students where this is the first time [someone is] going to college. They don't have anyone to tell them, ‘This is what you should take to your dorm.’ They don't have someone to say, ‘Let me talk to you about how your parents are going to have separation anxiety and how that's going to come out in certain ways,’ because I've had students come in here with a bad attitude with me because they just had an argument with their parent because their parent doesn't want them to go away to college. So now I'm having a conversation with a Dominican mother. ‘It's going to be okay. She needs this. She needs to go away. She's going to be safe.’”
“When a parent comes in and starts crying to you because they're at their wits end and they're asking you—I've had parents call me and ask me for advice: ‘Should I send him to this school or not?’ (…) And I'm like, ‘Oh my God, I'm a family counselor right now. I'm helping you make decisions on where you're going to send your kid.’ But I've accepted that that's part of my role.”